Parting from Cambodia

How long before I feel the need to come back?

You always know what you lose, never what you gain.

So why am I leaving?

The main thing is that I'm not at home here. Even though I was warmly welcomed by almost everyone, even though I can live here very comfortably my daily life, even though I love the places, the people and the way of life, I'm too different to feel at home here. My culture, my religion, my values are all different. The country's history, the country's political system are not mine. And I have a hard time with the country's current direction (or lack thereof?).

Don't get me wrong, I was glad to be here, and to discover the Khmer culture. Even with regard to values which differ from mine, I respect them. In many ways I felt much better here than in France, and I'm not sure France's direction (or lack thereof) is better! But, were I to choose to stay in France, I would be entitled, as a citizen, to try to bring the country in the "right" direction, which I'm not entitled to do here. My work's sole legitimacy was to be part of a project initiated in Cambodia by two Cambodians.

Other reasons for coming home are related to family, the wish to work on something new again and to discover yet new countries, cultures and ways of life.

I hope this post is not an anticlimax to my dear readers and friends. That everyone understands one may love a culture and a way of life without wishing to make them his.

Before my programmed flight home, I went to visit the temples in Angkor one last time. Ta Prohm was imposing, Preah Khan complex and beautiful, Ta Keo impressive in its unfinished state, Ta Nei mysterious in the absence of a single visitor. In the sunset, the Bayon, completely devoid of visitors too, was frightening and, last but not least, Angkor Wat was enigmatic as always while I tried to decypher its bas reliefs.

All the best,

Joseph